Feeling lonely

On late nights like these, where I'm sitting in bed bored out of my mind with nobody to talk to, I just can't help but feel completely lonely and miserable. There's no good shows to watch, nothing to do, and nobody to talk to. I'm usually not the type to be like " I NEED A BOYFRIEND" , but on nights like these where I have nobody to talk to and nothing to do, it makes me feel lonely and miserable.  I can't help it but wonder how it feels like to have a boyfriend where you can call and have cute phone calls. Or have cute skype conversations. All we girls want to be is loved by someone special, is that so hard? While sitting here thinking of my ex boyfriends or my future boyfriends( we all think about a future perfect boyfriend we want to have) seconds feel like hours. And hours feels like days. This night is gonna be a long night, while I think about lonely I am atm. :(

xoxo me

The future

Do you ever just sit in your room and think about the future. Now every time I think about the future, I feel joy and pain. Joy because I would want it to be great, and pain because everyday we just get older. We can't stop time, we can't go back in time. This is it. You will only live this one day (October 14, 2013)once, and never again. We worry so much about tomorrow and the future that we forget to enjoy today. Yes, it is hard for a teenage girl to enjoy her life atm, especially with her mood swings, hormones, and periods. But we need to forget about the small pains and problems, put them a side and just try your best to enjoy today/ these years. 

xoxo me

Finally over him.

I'm almost over him! I could almost feel it, being free from thoughts of him. Slowly as reality creeps into my  head, I realize he's not worth thinking about. I'm just another girl in his life, he has like dozens of girls. He even just tweeted how he misses his ex. It doesn't hurt that he wants his ex back, it feels good, to be quiet honest. Knowing that I mean nothing to him, feels good. The reason why it feels good is because I know for sure. The reason why it hurt before is because I had hope. I would hope that I was that one girl he thinks about, I had hope that he liked me, but now I know for sure that he doesn't like me, and surprisingly it feels so good:)

I could honestly say I'm over him! Yes, I may still think about him, but its hard to control your thoughts. Plus just because I think about him doesn't mean I still have a huge crush on him, I mean yes I think he is attractive but he is a friend, and that's all.

xoxo me

The City

Coming back from the city at night, makes you wish you could go to the city everyday at night time.  All these people, all these lights, that replace the stars in the dark sky. All this noise, yet there's peace inside of me. Calm and just observing the surrendering.  Forgetting all my problems and troubles at home. Just living in the moment, wishing I could go every night to the city.

xoxo me

Friend zoned ?

I hate that I like you. I hate that you don't like me. We used to flirt a lot, but things changed. I was one of your first friends in high school, yet I'm not sure where we stand now. I can't get you out of my mind and I hate it. I don't know what to do. You're young and immature, every girl likes you, so I'm probably just another girl in your life. You probably don't even notice that I like you, when I make it kind of obvious. You used to text me everyday, but you stopped. I don't know why you stopped, but you've changed with me, and I'm changing with you. But I don't know why we're changing. I just want things to go back to how they were.

xoxo me

The year starts.

Well Summer is over, and the year starts. The drama is slowly coming, and so are the problems. They are slowly pilling up on my shoulder. Hopefully this blog will help me get them off my shoulders so I can survive this year. I barely survived last year, I'm thankful that I'm still alive. This year I will be stronger than ever, hopefully. 

 xoxo me